An Actual Date

I actually went on a date recently. Odd how that's not very clear in a place like DC. I do a lot of "hanging out" with guys and I'm not always sure if these are dates. Especially lately. After ending something that lasted for a while, at least for me, I have not been romantically tied to anyone and have been cocooning myself among familiar people and places so as not to subject myself to what's out there. So, over the weekend I went to a friend's potluck which ended with us all out on the sidewalk dancing. Rather than disturb the neighbors any further, we headed over to The Space where a live reggae band was playing on the first floor. I was intrigued by this really great band and hung out while everyone else took off to the rooftop deck. A cute guy with an accent liberally put his arm around my waist and started talking. After having had several drinks at the party, I wasn't too hard on the guy but, his hand was really almost on my ass. Turned out he's from Antigua and does web design. The conversation was good and we danced for a while and exchanged numbers. He pretty much convinced me to take a trip to Antigua. The next day we met at Tryst for a late lunch (anything after 3pm isn't really brunch is it?). I haven't done that in years! The service was as always, terrible but the coffee is good. We talked forever then took a walk and stopped for beer at an outdoor patio. It was kind of cute how he tried to reassure me of his identity with his passport in an attempt to walk me home (and come in of course) but I'm just not really feeling any form of involvement right now. Such is life.

Men and Clowns: Yet Another Saturday Night in DC

Last month I read that Bozo the Clown died at 83. It made me think about something my grandmother said to me during one of my last visits with her before she died. She was in her late 90's and I was in my late 20's. At my age, she had been married for many years and already had several children. I had done neither. I hadn't seen her in a while and I arrived with my married sister with her two children. When she realized I was still single with no children, she said: "They haven't been able to trick you yet, huh?" She was referring to men. I was taken aback for a moment but then laughed it off. My mother was quite amused as well. And for good reason. During one of my episodes of being heartbroken by a guy in my 20's, my mother told me that she thought clowns were evil and that men often resort to behaving like clowns. Yeah, who wants to date a bozo? It took me a while to figure out this behavior.

Tonight, I find this to be very true yet again. Why, why, why, do I continue to get calls from men after midnight asking me what I'm doing when I have asked them to stop doing that? And no, this is not male bashing as some of you might say. This is me telling the truth as I see it. And no, I did NOT give dudes a reason to call me this late as some might say (you know who you are). Just because I go out with friends or by myself after midnight, that does not mean that a man should call me during those times to spend time with me when we haven't even been on a date. Hmmm....let's see. How about call the day before even (which is still rather late and inappropriate) and ask me out. How is this related to clowns? Well, here's what really bugs me. Why, why, why, why do these guys try to trick me into believing this is all innocent. Yeah, they just thought I might be hanging out already. Or, they just thought I might want company. Right! Might as well slap on the wig, white paint, and big floppy shoes! That's just a lazy and obvious form of trickery. If you wanted a booty call situation, then just say it. For the love of all women, don't try to trick us into believing it's something else. Come on, I'm in my 30's. On too many occasions, men have tried to trick me with regard to their children, wives, fiances, girlfriends, living arrangements, jobs, you name it. Other clown similarities? I have noticed that men like to do tricks (I was once on a date with a guy who did card tricks at the bar) and sometimes turn tricks (prostitutes), which of course would mean that they might just give you trich if you're not careful.

And while these are merely generalizations about men, it does beg the question as to whether or not women really are being tricked when it comes to marriage. Happily ever after? Honest and true? Monogamy? Just ask John Edwards' wife. Apparently, she was tricked into believing his affair was "their" private matter. No, it's called politics and it was his dick.

Back in the Saddle Again

Ok, I have truly been busy these past couple of weeks. Good for my eventual bank account, but not good for right now. I seriously haven't had the energy or time to do anything else right now, especially blog (how did blogging become an activity?). In addition to teaching, I took on a short-term contract assignment. It's great work - educational outreach for an important cause - but it's in Reston!!!! I think I've blogged about this before but I have extreme suburbaphobia. Can someone please tell me what's up with these corporate parks with acres of land set in front of office buildings that look uninhabited except for the gazillion cars in the lots surrounding them? I even saw a band of geese as I was walking toward some form of public transportation. Maybe they were long-neck ducks, but whatever. As some of you may know, I am without car and have begun to believe that people like me are not welcome in places like Reston. If so, where are the sidewalks? How was I supposed to get anywhere walking across wet, grassy land? I am just not a fan of town centers. They are fake substitutes for real cities. Even the perfect little townhouses I saw while walking seemed unreal. Where were the people? I got enough of that while in the Midwest as a grad student. The point is, while in Reston, I felt lost, stuck, stranded. I was seriously scared. This situation may sound like no big deal, but it is so much worse in extreme weather. As we know, DC has been so extremely hot that people have been advised not to go outdoors on some days. So, imagine how I felt when I am standing in the middle of nowhere, with no store, restaurant, hotel, or any other form of shelter, waiting for a bus. I was so relieved each day when I finally got on the train and it pulled into the L'Enfant Plaza metro station. I could get out, hail a cab, walk home, find food, rest at a nice hotel bar...whatever. These were not options out in northern Virginia. While this assignment was good experience, I have no intentions of ever going back that far into Virginia for work again. Hey, these are the sacrifices we have to make.

Gay or ....?

For a single girl in a big city like DC, you've got to have some guidance about dating. That's when you turn to your circle of friends - women, men, gay, straight, etc. There's got to be some level of definitive sexual orientation in my opinion. But hey, I'm in my 30's, and maybe that's all gone out of the window with the 20-somethings. All I know is, it's nice to know who you're sleeping with. I had this discussion at a recent neighborhood wine tasting. As the discussion went, "How do you know the guy you're sleeping with is gay/bisexual/experimenting/unsure/whatever?" Here are some questions a group of us came up with that could possibly be of use:

• Does he have a rack of magnum condoms but is not so well-endowed?
• Can he recite lines from Sex and the City?
• Is he better at being Martha Stewart than the woman herself?
• Does he like and request a finger up his ass?
• Can he accessorize your outfit better than you?
• Does he think the decision to sleep with a man is a matter of mere self control?

Just some thoughts. Any others?

Gordon Biersch 20th Anniversary Party

In celebration of their 20th anniversary and their Sommergold beer, Gordon Biersch is throwing a party this Wednesday, July 23rd. Join them at their Gallery Place location at 9th and F Sts. NW for complimentary hors d' oeuvres featuring items from their Sommergold seasonal menu including: Shrimp and Crab, Asian Chicken Salad, Prime Burger, Roasted Half Chicken, and Macadamia Nut Crusted Mahi Mahi. The party will be held in the Bar/Cocktail areas only.
Between now and August 3rd you can enjoy their seasonal Sommergold beer, a Kölsch style pale ale that is light and dry with just a hint of fruitiness. It's hot and sticky in DC which means, a it's a great time to try a new summer beer while it lasts! And I've always loved the space. It's convenient, airy, and spacious. Bring your friends. Cheers!

Location: 900 F St. NW, Gallery Place/Chinatown Metro